Depression, Self-Fulfilling Prophecy and Labeling Theory

A friend sent this conversation to me and it really hit home.  It fits me and many that I know, he said it was okay to share it so here it is:


In a conversation about depression and self-fulfilling prophecies and labeling theory)

I like to take the idea a little further, in saying it’s not so much that we become a label, I think it’s just that we all have every attribute within us, we are simultaneously smart and stupid, brave and cowards, clumsy and graceful – it’s all within us, and without great force of will peoples words focus our mind on one part of who we are, we focus on that part of ourselves, and the next time we do something that fits with the negative words or labels directed at us (which we would have done anyway as part of the normal human experience.) we take that as confirmation that we are more clumsy than graceful, cowardly than brave, evil than good etc.

But then I think the same thing happens on the positive side too. But I think it is so much easier to happen on the positive side, because people for the most part end up with more positive experiences to highlight and re-enforce the good within us. So it’s easier to show people the good in themselves than it is to “create” a bad person. Problem is, so few people praise, and so many cut down.  You kind of became a victim of that labeling yourself. Not due to who you are, but due to who the labeler either wanted you to be, or more often because he was too stupid to foster the good in you. The labels may be so deep seeded that you don't even remember who put them there; those are the hardest ones to shake.

This is kind of who I am at this point for you. You can’t see all the positives in yourself, you don’t see the divine spark, your poise, grace, beauty, courage, you have been trained to see your negatives, so I will sit here on the sidelines, and tell you stories pointing to the good.  You can’t see your divine spark right now, but I can, so I am left pointing – letting you see me seeing it, so that you know it’s still there. I’ll be like a good sports radio announcer, the one that makes you see the field and the players, the one that paints the picture so well you can see the players striving, reaching, smell the grass and see the chalk fly as feet kick it up. -- If you can’t see YOU yet, that’s fine, (it’s expected after such a long time being convinced not to.)

Let me give you the play by play for a little while, see the spark, the inherent goodness, striving to come out, self-confidence comes with self-realization, once you realize who you are, when you realize what makes your life good, once you remember who you are, when you don’t have anything to prove to anyone but yourself.  I'll show you, until you have that grand force of will that will allow someone to tell you that you are an idiot, and know that you are not, the confidence to know when someone doesn’t see grace embodied in you, that it's their problem, so you can walk on with a smile. Self-confidence will be back. Maybe at that time we can come back to the idea of labeling, and teach you some of the greater ideals of love, so that not only can you radiate it, but you will know when people are faking it, and stay away from them.

The old preacher in me doesn’t like to stop at just you, once you get to a point where you LOVE yourself, loving others is natural. It’s such a cliche-overused phrase that most people don’t get it. But one has to walk with a lot of self-confidence and self-love (not vanity, just love) to consistently do your best to make things better: not because it’s hard to do good, but because it’s hard not to crawl back into self-doubt when your efforts fail.